Early this morning at about 2 am, Donald Trump, the current President of the United States, tweeted about the existence of aliens. Not undocumented or illegal aliens, mind you, but space aliens. He indicated that he had just declassified documents that show that government insiders have had proof of their existence for decades.
As if this were not shocking enough, for those of us who are Star Trek fans, and who like the idea of a friendly, welcoming universe, it gets worse. A White House spokesman later confirmed the rumor that the money they have been trying to get to use for a wall purportedly to bar Mexican immigration is actually going to be used to build a “space wall” (what we might call an energy field or deflector shield) to protect us from the hostile intent of the aliens.
Now, of course, there were diverse opinions about all of this at first, and many people didn’t believe or even bother to attend the press conference where they were going to offer proof, due to the “Boy Who Cried Wolf” effect that has been prevalent in Washington, but surprisingly, proof was supplied to the satisfaction of everyone present, and the alien threat is bringing the country together like never before. The majority of both Democrats and Republicans are now behind the Space Wall, and other countries are joining with us to make a whole-earth protection plan possible.
Those attending the press conference not only got to hear from impressive eyewitnesses, but a very few vetted attendees got to see a captured alien in person. I was of course not one of those people, and pictures were not allowed, but luckily my niece, an intern for Senator Dean Duraka, was one of the people allowed in the room, and was one of the few able to record the answers to a few questions (the questions and answers were in Russian, as this alien was “on loan” from Russia, apparently first having landed in Siberia and able to communicate in that language).
Anyway, being the premiere answer site on the internet, we are sharing the translated Alien Answers she was able to record with you exclusively:
Q: Why have you come here?
A: I was captured and forced to come.
Q: I mean, why have you come to this planet?
A: I am doing my job.
Q: What is your job?
A: My job is to find places for our people to live.
Q: Why can’t you live on your own planet?
A: Because I am a prisoner.
Q: No, I mean why can’t your people stay on their planet?
A: They can.
Q: Why do your people want to live here?
A: I told them it was a good planet.
Q: Are they coming here then?
Wow, right? Sounds like we are going to have visitors soon, though we aren’t sure exactly when. I, for one, welcome our new Alien Overlords.