April Anticipation

April is National Humor Month, which got a great start with that great Alien Interview, but I may have gotten a little distracted, because I didn’t address all of the other great things going on this month.  Let’s catch up:

In addition to National Humor Month, it is *also* National Poetry Month.  Poets.org offers us 30 ways to celebrate, and if you want to read my Brain Transplant Day poem from an April Fool’s Day of the past, you can find it here.  If you don’t like humor or poetry, that’s sad, but there are also other things that you might appreciate more:

  • Arab American Heritage Month
  • Autism Awareness Month
  • Child Abuse Prevention Month
  • Distracted Driving Awareness Month
  • Frog Month
  • Global Astronomy Month
  • Jazz Appreciation Month
  • Mathematics Awareness Month
  • National Occupational Therapy Month
  • International Guitar Month
  • National Kite Month
  • National Pecan Month
  • National Welding Month

By Day, here are some more things we can anticipate:

  • April 5 — National Caramel Day and National Deep Dish Pizza Day.  Mmm.  Deep dish caramel pizza…
  • April 6 — Plan Your Epitaph Day.  How do you want to be remembered?  For me, I am thinking of putting something like “Queen of Eloquence” on my tombstone, but I might have to get a little better first.  Right now I am more like the doorkeeper or maybe the gardener of eloquence.
  • April 7 — International Pillow Fight Day and International Beaver Day.  Maybe have a pillow fight with your favorite beavers. 🙂
  • April 9 — Palm Sunday
  • April 10 — National Siblings Day.  Also, Passover begins at sundown, lasts 8 days.
  • April 11 — Eight Track Tape Day and National Barbershop Quartet Day.  Ideally, you could listen to a barbershop quartet on your 8-track player, but that might be hard to do these days.
  • April 12 — Drop Everything and Read Day.  Also National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day and National Licorice Day.  Maybe don’t try to combine these ones.
  • April 13 — National Scrabble Day and National Peach Cobbler Day.  Not a bad combination, as long as you use your napkin before taking your turn.
  • April 14 — Reach as High as You Can Day
  • April 15 — Husband Appreciation Day (Note that April 15 is NOT tax day this year, so you can appreciate your husbands even more.)
  • April 16 — Easter.  Also, National Librarian Day and also National Stress Awareness Day, so be extra nice to the stressed out Librarians while you are celebrating Easter.
  • April 17 — National Haiku Poetry Day.  Perfect, since it is National Poetry Month already.  Start counting your syllables. 🙂
  • April 18 — Tax Day.  This year Tax Day has been rescheduled to Tuesday because April 15th is a Saturday and the Washington D.C. Emancipation Day holiday is observed on April 17.
  • April 20 — Volunteer Recognition Day and National High Five Day, which go remarkably well together.  So, high fives all around for all of you awesome volunteers! And a personal heartfelt thank you to all of the people who volunteer their time to make WikiAnswers a better place. 🙂
  • April 22 — Earth Day
  • April 23 — National Zucchini Bread Day.  Also, Holocaust Remembrance Day starts at sundown.
  • April 25 — National Zucchini Bread Day.  (I know, right?)  Zucchini bread gets TWO holidays.  Some sources say it is celebrated on the 23rd, and some on the 25th.  I absolutely love zucchini bread, so I thought we could just celebrate it twice. 🙂
  • April 26 — National Pretzel Day
  • April 27 — Tell a Story Day
  • April 28 — National Superhero Day and Arbor Day.  Be a Superhero–plant a tree. 🙂
  • April 30 — Hairstyle Appreciation Day and also National Honesty Day… so make sure you are telling the truth when you compliment someone’s hairstyle.

Enjoy the month, and tune in next month for another exciting adventure.

Alien Answers

No AliensEarly this morning at about 2 am, Donald Trump, the current President of the United States, tweeted about the existence of aliens.  Not undocumented or illegal aliens, mind you, but space aliens.  He indicated that he had just declassified documents that show that government insiders have had proof of their existence for decades.

As if this were not shocking enough, for those of us who are Star Trek fans, and who like the idea of a friendly, welcoming universe, it gets worse. A White House spokesman later confirmed the rumor that the money they have been trying to get to use for a wall purportedly to bar Mexican immigration is actually going to be used to build a “space wall” (what we might call an energy field or deflector shield) to protect us from the hostile intent of the aliens.

Now, of course, there were diverse opinions about all of this at first, and many people didn’t believe or even bother to attend the press conference where they were going to offer proof, due to the “Boy Who Cried Wolf” effect that has been prevalent in Washington, but surprisingly, proof was supplied to the satisfaction of everyone present, and the alien threat is bringing the country together like never before.  The majority of both Democrats and Republicans are now behind the Space Wall, and other countries are joining with us to make a whole-earth protection plan possible.

Those attending the press conference not only got to hear from impressive eyewitnesses, but a very few vetted attendees got to see a captured alien in person.  I was of course not one of those people, and pictures were not allowed, but luckily my niece, an intern for Senator Dean Duraka, was one of the people allowed in the room, and was one of the few able to record the answers to a few questions (the questions and answers were in Russian, as this alien was “on loan” from Russia, apparently first having landed in Siberia and able to communicate in that language).

Anyway, being the premiere answer site on the internet, we are sharing the translated Alien Answers she was able to record with you exclusively:

Q: Why have you come here?

A: I was captured and forced to come.

Q: I mean, why have you come to this planet?

A: I am doing my job.

Q: What is your job?

A: My job is to find places for our people to live.

Q: Why can’t you live on your own planet?

A: Because I am a prisoner.

Q: No, I mean why can’t your people stay on their planet?

A: They can.

Q: Why do your people want to live here?

A: I told them it was a good planet.

Q: Are they coming here then?

A: Yes.

Q: Why?

A: You are a baby.  They are coming here to live, to enjoy.  We expand so that we do not die, so that we can continue to live.  As do all creatures.

Wow, right?  Sounds like we are going to have visitors soon, though we aren’t sure exactly when.  I, for one, welcome our new Alien Overlords.

We hope you enjoyed this exclusive Alien Interview.  Keep coming back for more excitement on Answers.com!  And happy April Fool’s Day. 🙂